Lam Ching Ying

No Priest robe, no shoes, no hat, no coin-sword or magical calligraphic, no clumsy understudies, not even the Hell Police could help him. Nothing and nobody remained for the Sifu to make his suffering bearable in his last battle. He chose to fight alone against the evil, which attacked his young body in a shape of a fatal disease.

We really can't imagine what turned over in his mind, but we have to accept everything he did in his final weeks. What I know for sure is that he was deliberated. He had a mature plan, keeping his head, no self-pity, revolting, never loose sight of his loved one's interest. He made unexplainable steps, but I try to understand him, and the deeper I think about him and his actions, the more sure I am about his truth. That's the only way he could keep his dignity and fidelity until the very end.

During the Summer he has been repeatedly going to the hospital for tests. They discovered that his illness is serious, actually he was diagnosed to have liver cancer. He was stubbornly insisted on leaving the hospital immediately, finishing his job and unwilling to be hospitalized at all. Having faith in Buddhism, it was natural for him to turn down the modern medical science. He decided to rest at home and quietly has started having a herbal medical treatment. He did not treat himself as a patient and hated others reputing him weak, so no one dared to ask him about his state of health. Rumours had already been spreading out anyway. He kept receiving worried phonecalls from friends inquiring after his condition, who were told off, or even yelled at by him for listening to gossips.

The truth was that he didn't want to trouble and hinder others, or earn their sympathy, as he hated pity and compassion all his life. As much as he dreaded to see his family's and friends' despair, and the possibility to be seen in a degradated state. He forbid his close family to reveal his illness. Owing to his unsociable life he had not many friends. Those few schoolmate "brothers" all learned about his disease from the papers. They wanted to see him, but he did not allow them to pay a visit. He was really strong, and I can imagine that in his heart of hearts he would wanted to see them, to get comforting words or just say goodbye, but he hold on, steeled himself. Later on it turned out, that after all a few friends knew his struggle. One of them was Tony Leung Ka Fei, who knew it early on, but knowing Lam's intention to keep it secret, he didn't tell the news to others. Thank you for your loyalty, Tony!

The day soon came when he realized, that he is not able to cope alone anymore. He left his residence in Tai Po, without a word, knowing that he will never ever be coming back. Moved to his sister's house to spend his final weeks there, under her care. His time had come. He did not want to see anyone, he even refused to allow a visit from his children, who wanted to see him. He knew that his looks would scare them.

His strength came to an end. He lost his consciousness over an over again and at the beginning of November his family moved him to the St.Teresa Hospital in Kowloon. He was already in half-coma, and his situation gradually declined.

Born on a Saturday in 1952, Lam Sifu finally passed away on a Saturday evening of the 8th of November 1997 a month before his 45th birthday.

                           First Days Without The Master