Lam Ching Ying

The film starts with Lam Ching Ying peeing into the corner of the old, abandoned Catholic Church. This must mean something...

The movie sets in the Republican-era China, where everything changes, and everyone is willing to know more about western culture, civilization, technology, behaviour. But not our Lam, who is as always the Taoist Master of the little, quiet town, Wine-Spring. Of course he wears traditional clothes, keeps his old rules, routines and expects the same attitude from his two students.

 

During the night another Taoist Priest arrives, followed by his gang of hopping vampires.

Priest Wu entered the town, as well, who was recently dispatched from the Vatican. His first step is to open the Church and celebrate a Mass, so in the morning a long time ago heard sound wakes the city. Bells are ringing, telling the community that the Church is to be reopened.

 

 

Uncle is immediately intervenes, and sticks to the fact that the Church must not be open, otherwise everyone would suffer. He says the place is ill-omened, as a Father was killed there 20 years ago and above all feng-shui suggests never to use it again. Uncle and Priest Wu seem to have major language barrier. The Priest somehow forgot to speak and understand his mother language. Uncle deliberately doesn't want to understand a word in English. Their whole conversation falls into a huge word joke as they mishear words, so at the end someone has to stop Uncle before he kicks Priest Wu's head off.

 

  

The Mayor have to convence an assembly to decide about the re-opening. Poor Uncle no longer finds support. Everyone sing the praises of the West. New technologies, radio, type-writer, electricity, and above all the religion. The judgement is to open as soon as possible.

The breath of new times doesn't leave the two students in peace. They somehow purchase Western clothes, and try them on eagerly. Uncle arrives home and suddenly finds his student with a bow-tie on his head, and later he gets hold of a bra. It's not his day.

 

And it's just getting worse. The next day he hears the organ and the singing gathering villagers for mass. He must interact. He combats with traditional Chinese pipes and drums.

In honour of Priest Wu a dinner is given that evening. All the superiors of the town are invited. Uncle turns up in his full Taoist garment. He refuses to eat and drink the same as the others. He abuses Western customs as often as he can. Finally he leaves in a huff.

The youngsters can't bear themselves. Star is in love with Miss Anny and Little Moon likes a young monk, and all in all they are both very curious about what's going on in the Church. They smart themselves up, and behind Uncle's back they attend the Mass. Naturally Uncle is eaten up with curiousity, as well. But dignity obliges. He dresses up as an old lady and enters the Church.

  

Nuisance follows nuisance. He does not know how to behave at all. To make matters worse he receives the Sacrament and while he does it he can't command himself and bites the Father's ordained fingers. And that is not the end. He kicks him several times! The community gets into a deep shock.

  

That night brings horrible change into the life of the village and its residents. A monk during his night shift founds the body of the dead Priest. The following morning he is found dead with a bite on his neck. The whole procedure of exorcism starts. Both experts fight with their full range of toolbar. Uncle seems to be more powerful over the Evil.

 

According to Taoism the body must be burnt before it turns into a vampire. Under cover of the night Uncle and Moon dressed up to ninjas steal the body from the Church and start to set fire when Priest Wu finds them and immediatelly stops them with a bucket of cold water The cooler reaches Uncle, who wakes the next morning with a high fever. Priest Wu as a real Samaritan comes with his medical treatment. Uncle resists, calls him and his method a killer and sticks to his own type of treatment.

 

Despite of their antipathy they start to be curious about each other's faith, customs and they end up having a conversation. The attraction between Star and the monk, as well as between Moon and Miss Anny is obvious.

But even these good signs can't stop all hell break loose.

 

It turns out that the vampire shepherd and the hopping vampires are all in the drug business. There is a violent hopping vampire terrorizing the town, who finally bites Anny. A western-style vampire is raving mad in the Church. Uncle and Priest Wu have to collaborate, but the whole situation is out of control. During their life-risking battle in the Church the young monk, Anny and Priest Wu die. The movie is ending with a bang. You have to watch it.